Home · Maps · About
Home > The Reef

[ Read Responses | Post a New Response | Return to the Index ]
[ First in Thread | Next in Thread ]

view flat

Re: The Jewish Woman Shortage

Posted by Howard Fein on Tue Jun 20 13:38:30 2006, in response to The Jewish Woman Shortage, posted by SilverFox on Mon Jun 19 17:09:52 2006.

"They're all there: The 40-year-old spinsters yammering at nobody in particular; the 50-year-old triple divorcee/widows (who probably nagged their husbands into wanting affairs/to death); lesbians; the castrating, man-hating career bitches; and the Prozac junkies. It's pathetic."

You forgot the chain smokers; the C.T.s; the gold-diggers; the 250-pounders wearing a Size 8; the manic-depressives; the total airheads; those who are perpetually "between jobs"; those that complain about their ex-boyfriends to you; the trick question trap-setters ("If we had sex right now, would you use a condom?"); the nitpickers; the biological clock-watchers who only want to meet a man as a means of having a baby; or any combination of these- many of them also fitting the descriptions you've sited above.

Is LeJuda- or 'Le Puke-a', as I referred to it- still running dances? Back in the eighties it was either that or the 'Stewie dances' (don't ask me WHY they were called that!) at the temples. If I went to a non-secterian nightclub and met a woman with any redeeming qualities, she was invariably Gentile. I would imagine the advent of the Internet has made things even worse. More opportunities to lie, stand each other up, etc.

I'm about as nonreligious as they come, but felt compelled to date Jewish women because my parents (equally nonreligious) stated if I took up with a non-Jew, they would have nothing to do with her- or me. This can be blamed on my oldest brother, who had a fifteen-year marriage with a devout Catholic that yielded four kids they couldn't afford. It also planted the idea in my folks' head that non-Jewish women are nasty and crazy, just like their then daughter-in-law. Of course, there are NO nasty or crazy Jewish women, are there-?

By the time I hit 30, I pretty much gave up hope of ever finding anyone. It's testament to my ability to remember a phone number shouted from someone in a parked car across the street from my own that ultimately got me hooked up with my spouse of fourteen years. After untold thousands of my hard-earned dollars spent on singles' endeavors, we met on a blind date by an older woman who had met each of us just once. That's the one who shouted out her number from her car across the street.

So any time I start to curse my luck- or wife- over anything, I think back.

But you have to BE lucky. A lot of my friends in their mid to late forties haven't been. And the pressure you receive from your relatives and married friends doesn't help either.

Probably the most bizarre woman I ever dated- and THAT'S saying something- was a one-shot I met at LePuka. On a Friday night after the movie (which she talked all the way through about totally extraneous stuff) we went to a diner. At one point she asked me if I was Orthodox.

I had to drink milk in order to stop choking on my ham omelette.

Responses

 Thread is locked Responses disabled

[ Return to the Message Index ]