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Re: D.C. Subway Ads Openly Recruit Kids to Bisexuality, Transgenderism

Posted by SelkirkTMO on Fri Sep 17 14:09:28 2004, in response to Re: D.C. Subway Ads Openly Recruit Kids to Bisexuality, Transgenderism, posted by rcw on Fri Sep 17 13:56:46 2004.

As long as we're on this topic before Unca Larry does the PROPER Christian thing and KILLS it, wanted to ask a few questions of your faith since we're off on this insaley UNCHRISTIAN thread here ...


1. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbours. They keep phoning the police claiming that the odor is noxious. Should I smite the guy next door after the cops leave?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her given that she's only 12-years-old?

3. And speaking of children, my teenage son is stubborn and rebellious. I know that I should have him stoned to death by all the men in the city (Deut. 21:18), but I live in a city of over a million, and that's just not going to be easy to organize. Couldn't I just get my buddies at work to pump a few rounds from a shotgun in him for target practice?

4. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

5. (For Americans only) Lev. 25:44 which states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? I have been unable to find any reference to Canada in the Bible. Why can't I own Canadians?

6. The guy down the street insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself or can I round up a posse of neighbours and stone him to death first thing Monday morning?

7. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? This is a serious problem for me as my wife (husband) loves shellfish.

8. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear contacts. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

9. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. How should they be put to death?

10. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

11. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)?

12. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

13. Jesus says Himself that if a Christian drinks a deadly poison, it won't hurt him at all. (Mark 16:18) I think that's absolutely amazing. Since you're a devout Christian, could you demonstrate that to me by swallowing this bottle of rat poison?

Jesus is *NOT* a republican ... he dealt with your kind 2,000 years ago ...

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